Let them eat cookies!

Today was a day of children, except for the errands. But, they too, were children focused. First we went to Trader Joe's for KD's coffee. Oh and how we scored with delicious treats! Is there anything better than a trip to Trader Joe's? I am hard pressed to find an equal pleasure. Then off to the craft store to acquire floral wire so I could do this:

and this:

After the decorating was done and belly's were full, we went to the grocery store so they could do this:

And of course yesterday we did this:

Candles in the windows and a simple strand of white lights along the fence.

It certainly is the most wonderful time of the year!

Decorations

We bought red and silver glass bulbs, strings of lights and light bulbs for the window candles. We put a string of lights along the fence in the front and put candles in all the windows.

We were at Happy Valley's yesterday. The first thing Oldest said when we stepped out of the car after a deep sigh was, "It is beautiful here." That girl sure does know her beauty! We had a very casual playful visit. Sad circumstances brought us together, but through all sadness goodness emerges and for that I am glad.

Today we will laze, clean and decorate.

Sleepy

They got up at 8:36 and 9:03 respectively. The extended sleep duration was provided by my cozy bed. Baby was up at 7:30.

We have pulled out a few of the Christmas decorations and will make our way to the store to get light bulbs for our window candles.

Progress

Thanks

Today, above all days, I am reminded of all of my blessings. Today, we are forced to slow down and spend time with our thoughts. In an uber fast paced world still focused on more, I forget about all that I am blessed with. I am thankful for all of it.

I am thankful for a husband who adores me, for children who are disobedient, loving and kind. I am thankful for the house that we can make our mortgage payment on, that needs more work than we have time for. I am thankful for the cars that we drive and the ability to make our payments. I am thankful for our jobs. I am thankful that we are all healthy. I am thankful for a positive outlook and the ability to see beauty in people and nature. I am thankful for children who wonder at the world. I am thankful for all the teacher's I have met in my life, teacher's who have come in the form of friends. I am thankful for my faith and the ability to trust. I am thankful for the life I have and from where I came. I am thankful for the cats who have come to us this year. I am thankful for all the humor that surrounds me.

We are blessed and thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dazed and confused, not sure what to do next

In my grand plan of becoming organized at the beginning of school I was to have the kids clothes deposited into their respective cubby's. In the other part of the grand plan, the older two kids were supposed to get dressed on their own. But alas all plans are made to fall apart...

It is 6:49 a.m. and none of us are dressed. In fact none of the clothes are in the cubby's. No. They are piled high in laundry baskets in the laundry room. My clothes are in the washer, I must check to see if they are ready for the dryer. I don't get up before them. No that would enable me to gain control over the morning. I would be prepared for breakfast and preparing lunch/snack for Oldest. But no. I sit here posting about my disorganization.

I plan their outfits in my head and then I will gather all the clothes and lay them out for each of them. We will fight over who gets dressed first. Then they will all come to the table and eat. I will warn them not to get syrup on their clothes. Today we will have waffles and oranges for breakfast. See I do plan. While they are eating I make lunch/snack for Oldest. After breakfast I usher her into the bathroom to brush teeth and hair. Then we wait. I scout the bus through the trees and when I see it I yell "BUS, gooooo!" And she runs out the door across the lawn. We all stand on the porch and wave to her and blow kisses. Then we gather our blankies and jump in the Mommy Bus and off to our babysitter's we go. After I drop the boys off I head off to Starbucks for a Peppermint Mocha Twist with Christmas Carols softly playing. It is great. I pull into the parking lot at work, take a deep breath and make my way into my office and begin the race.

Maybe we are organized after all. Maybe I compare myself to people who I assume are robotically organized. To people I imagine and don't know.

I guess I missed something

We watched Grey's Anatomy on Thursday night. I thought I had been watching it loyally every week and if not watching it then DVRing to watch later. Um, I guess not.

Can anyone fill me in on the whole Denny thing? I know who Denny is, but what happened that he is on. Who is Sadie?

What is she looking at?

Pain

I am not a weakling. Rather I am quite strong. I am out of shape and overweight but for someone in this condition, I am not not weak. At least I didn't think so, until Sunday. See that square looking thing right there? That is a 30" x 36" x 1 1/2" piece of Blue Stone.

I bought it on Saturday at a lovely stone yard, where I intend to shop much more next summer, and they put it in my car. On Sunday, KD and I had to get it out of the car and into the house. I still can't believe how heavy it was. I had to wear gloves AND take three breaks. And didn't actually make it into the office/toy room where it was to ultimately end up. KD handled that end over end. I could feel the lactic acid exploding through my muscles and was shaking within minutes of this chore. KD then asked me when I had become "such a flower?!"

Oh and if you are wondering why we would have such a "rock" in our house? It is the hearth pad for the pellet stove!

Can you tell the difference?

I have fostered a love of a blankey in all of my children. At one point Oldest had regular blankey, purple blankey, regular lamby and little lamby. We are not afraid of loving our comfort items. When Baby was born dear family sent us the most luxurious blankets. He took to them right away. He continues to love his blankey and is far more dependent on his than either of the others ever were. We switched them out every now and then when he was a baby so we would not encounter any issues when one needed to be laundered. However, as he has grown and I went back to work, that has fallen by the way side.

This past week the kids found the blanket behind the big chair. Oldest gave it to him and at first he nuzzled and within seconds he discarded the item with horror. This was not his blankey.

The blanket on the left is his. The one on the right is the impostor. You can see the grungy corner on his blanket. Which is how he identified the impostor was in fact an impostor. He is very tactile and likes the feeling of the dried blankey after he has sucked on the corner. He does not discriminate between corners. And oh how he loves his blankey.

Here he is. A young republican, wearing the shirt that he cut holes into upon getting hold of "kid" scissors.

Bewildered

My children do not listen to me. I am sure, if you are a mother, your children don't listen to you either. It does not negate the frustration that I feel. I am a logical person and I understand that their mental capacity continues to mature, however, I just don't understand the not listening part. Today was no exception.

KD is working today which means I am solo. I am so ok with being solo. Saturday's we go to gymnastics. Then we usually pick up lunch and eat when we get home. It is a rainy day today so I had planned on getting started on the office to make room for the stove. I had to put Middle in time out twice this morning for 1) hitting his brother and 2) for wrecking the Polly Pocket-ville that Oldest had created. I threatened that he would miss gymnastics. Secretly not wanting to as gymnastics is a time when they are occupied and I can interact with some other adults. He pulled himself together and we hit the road.

First we stopped at Star Bucks so I could indulge in some peppermint mocha twist, then we were off to Dunkin Donuts to get them bagel shaped donuts. I called my brother and we chatted away. We arrived at gymnastics and the were covered with chocolate. As we walked from our parking space to the building a police car turned onto the street. None of the kids were holding my hands, as I mentioned they don't listen. I waved/motioned to the police man to give me a hand in impressing upon them how important it is that they listen to their mother.

Instead I was verbally assaulted like this:

"I am talking to YOU. You should have their hands. I am not talking to THEM, I am talking to YOU!"

I was a friggn' dear in the headlights, however, I gathered myself enough to say, "Thank you so much sir for your advice. I greatly appreciate it!" Whilst giving him the international "BITE ME" sign of my middle finger, as he drove off.

We made our way into the building, however, Middle refused to go into his class. I was barely keeping it together. I washed off the chocolate covering Baby and Middle, told Middle to get his shoes on and we left. We made it back to the car where all three of the kids were clinging to me while walking in the street. Who could blame them after the lambasting their mother had just received. After everyone was safely buckled into their seats, I pulled out of the parking space and called KD. The assualt pushed me over the edge. Truly pushed me over the edge.

I was hysterical. I truly was at a loss for words and could not believe what had just transpired. I reported to KD the event and then went on to express my sheer frustration about the kids. How we give them everything and still they don't listen. And how now I will not have 2 hours out of the house without them up my ass, but I will be stuck in the house all day with the fighting, the complaining, the ungrateful behavior, the screaming, the fighting, the complaining, the ungrateful behavior, the screaming...you get the picture. I surely can't take them anywhere as that would be fun and fun is something that should not be had as that would be a reward. They need to understand that their behavior is totally unacceptable and their lack of respect and obedience must stop. KD talked me down of my hysterical ledge. He told me that I am tougher than them and just to hold on. We, me and KD would have a long talk tonight on how to deal with them. Then tomorrow we will have a family meeting to discuss their behavior and lay down the rules.

In the mean time Oldest has already told me how she didn't like to hear those terrible words I said about them whilst I was on the phone. I apologized as some of the words were inappropriate. As I write the kids are fighting and when I tell them to stop and come here they say NO. It is the most difficult thing in the world and I tell you if I was a parent in the 1950s corporal punishment would be part of my parenting repertoire.

I am fragile and will dig deep to find the strength to deal until KD gets home.

Winter Warmth

In this less than insulated home, filling the oil tank hurts, as we heat the outside world. In a perfect world we would blow insulation into the house and snug it up, but alas we didn't and haven't. But what we did do after 3 years of talking about it, was purchase this:

Wood Pellet Stove. We purchased 2.6 tons of wood pellets for a total of $888, including delivery. They will heat our home through the entire winter. Last year we paid roughly $3,000 for oil. So it is a deal in terms of cost for heat. We did have to purchase the stove but we view that as an investment. Luckily we have a small home and this will keep us nice and toasty. We will pick it up tomorrow and after we get it installed and inspected we will fire it up.

Isn't it cute??

Decision

Is she trying to tell me something? She stayed upstairs all day and all night. She slept close and put her head on mine. No purring. This is a decision I don't want to make, but it may be time.

Here they are when they first came to us.

She is dwarfed by him now.

All tests, including ultra sound, came back normal. As KD and I discussed, if she truly wasn't eating she would be gone by now. I just don't know what to do...my heart hurts.

Leadership

Today they were supposed to picket, all the schools, all morning long. The person in charge called it off because of inclement weather.

I wanted to scream!

I was sucked in

KD worked last night and the kids were asking over and over again to watch "the original Spider man." Well he came home in time and put on for us what was Spider Man 3. Oh my goodness, I was completely and totally sucked in. I am not kidding. The kids fell asleep within the first 5 minutes but I was glued. Riveted to the story.

What has happened to me??

p.s. Work to rule continues. School Committee had an emergency meeting last week.

One year anniversay

A couple of days ago. I was bursting with words on that day in November. Sometimes it is a chore to write as the words don't flow daily. If I had time it would be glorious. Here are some pictures in lieu of the thousand words.

I have a visceral reaction

If you are not aware, I am a nonconformist. We live in an old house. We live in an old small house. KD is a teacher, I am a consultant. We are both well educated. Our parents were well educated with advanced degrees. We each come from affluent towns. Our old small house has no granite, nor stainless steel and is not on a cul de sac. We have 1/2 an acre on a busy road in a small town. We have 3 bedrooms, although one is classified as a bedroom, it is not. Our children share a room. We have 1 and 1/2 baths. Our entire house is 1,100 sq. ft. This small space is attached to a barn which is equal to or larger than our entire house. This was one of the selling features of this house. The barn still has the original beams, ala trees, for support. The house, once we stripped back all the faux wood panelling and dropped ceilings, has all the original wainscoting and wide pine floors. We love our house, albeit a work in progress.

We could not afford to live in the towns we grew up in and I suspect that it has more to do with our lack of planning than our finances. Although our lack of planning directly effects our finances. For the record, I would not want to live in the town I grew up in, as it has turned into a place where people live because of the zip code. I want to raise my children to be solid, confident human beings, who respect other humans for their souls, not for the granite in the kitchen or the label on their clothes. I also want to ensure that my children fit in from a social perspective. Although I do not shop at the Gap or Gymboree for their clothes, Old Navy and Target have some pretty hip, economical clothes and it is a great alternative. I have also hit Children's Orchard and scored huge there. As their mother I feel it is my job to take this one potential social pressure out of their hands and since they still let me pick out their clothes, it works.

I share all of this to demonstrate my provenance. I believe some of the above explains why it is that I have such a visceral reaction to something like this:

"Four bedrooms, four bathrooms and way too many handbags."

In today's society there exists such a materialistic way of life and I do not subscribe to this on principal first and finances second. I prefer to be the nonconformist who can have it all on the cheap through, in the case of our house, sweat equity and in the case of our children, creative solutions to ensure they fit in.

Is it working?

KD learned that the School Committee had an emergency meeting on Tuesday. Hmmm...

Thursday

Day 4 of work to rule.

Day 4 of the work week.

I am tired.

School Committee

I have one question, what exactly has the school committee done or not done under these circumstances? What exactly is the school committee doing? What exactly is their role? Are they a neutral party?

From where I sit part of the stalling is the school committee's fault. It is part of the negotiating committee's fault and now it is part fault to the mediator. There has been no sense of urgency regarding the GTA's rejection of the contract from the school committee or the negotiating committee. None, they rejected the contract prior to the end of the school year. They came back with something different only AFTER 85 teacher's showed up at the school committee meeting, in early October, however, this was ultimately rejected as well. The sticking point is the language in the contract and rightly so.

It was shortly after this that a mediator was brought in. The FIRST meeting with the mediator and the negotiating committee and the union representatives is on NOVEMBER 24th. November 24th?

Oh and where is the MTA in all of this? KD pays dues into this union and yet there has been no outward support for the GTA.

KD and I spoke of all the ridiculous comments that have been written especially regarding the old adage "teacher's are overworked and underpaid." KD responded, "I am not overworked or underpaid, I am a professional who expects to be compensated for my work."

I couldn't agree more.

Why do you need to know?

Why do you need to know the specifics about the contract before you will support the teacher's in your town? I know that assuming is never a good thing, but I think it is safe to assume that they are asking for a little more than the town is comfortable approving, i.e. 0% increase.

They are not asking for anything more than most of us who work in the private sector are offered.

Tuition reimbursement. That is one thing they are asking for. Not a lot, up to a maximum of $2,000 +/-. Which makes a difference in their lives as they are REQUIRED to take classes and get a master's all on their own dime, and in my case, my dime. So yes, tuition reimbursement is huge.

It still amazes me the rhetoric around this issue and how little support the teacher's are getting from the public at large.

Today is day two of work to rule. KD will be home by 2:30 to grade all of his papers for the quarter.

It is most definetly about the money

But also when you get the money.

Here is an excerpt from the Greater Grafton Blog and a very astute commenter who is clearly a teacher:

Third, let me try to clarify the pay scale for teachers. New teachers start out making somewhere in the low $30,000 range. WITH a positive review, they will move to the next “Step” on the pay scale which includes a merit raise (I don’t know if that’s what they call it) along with the percentage raise that was negotiated. This happens for the first 10 years. After that, merit raises are given every 5 years. So the veteran teacher gets only the negotiated raise between years 11-14, 16-19, etc. So if the original offer was 0% over 3 years, teachers in their 11th year would get no raise, while those who move to the next “step” would receive their “step” raise only. I believe the step raise helps equalize the difference between a 2% raise at $30,000 and 2% at $54,000. So I do know for a fact that the 0% raise originally offered would have given many of the veteran teachers no extra money over the 3 year contract. But there would be some, mainly newer teachers, who would consider to receive a raise based on a positive review.

KD is approaching a time when he would get no pay increase and that language needs to be reviewed and updated. There are reasons why teachers belong to a union and to all those unsupportive folk who work in the private sector who do NOT belong to a union...you should get a grip.

Now I am PISSED

KD, is working without a contract, as you know. They, the teacher's in his town, voted by 2/3 majority to "work to rule" beginning on Monday. The "buzz" in and around the community is mixed, but none the less, I am PISSED at all the derogatory comments about teachers. And since this is MY blog, I am going to let it rip, and make SWEEPING generalisations.

I assume that people who do not support teacher's ability to flex their collective muscles do not wholeheartedly support public education. I assume that if they attended public school they were not greatly influenced by one of those teacher's. But rather they focus on themselves and rather than try to understand the situation, think how it will impact them. Rightly so. As a parent I may feel that way too, however, being that KD is a teacher AND a parent I fully support his vote and the district's decision. Although they are working to rule starting on Monday, he did not gather his students for the extra curricular activity that he brought to the high school this fall, in anticipation of this. So a group of 12-15 kids, some A students, some B students and some C students don't get to participate in something that brings much joy to them and presumably to their parents. Not to mention the joy it brings to KD.

Yes, teacher's work 180 days, but really KD works all year long. He works weekends and school vacations, including summer. He knew going in to teaching that he nor his family would be "rich" based on his income. Don't misunderstand, KD is paid fairly well in the grand scheme of things, but he deserves to know that every year his salary will increase. To think that the negotiating committee offered a ZERO percent increase for THREE years? You have got to be kidding me. There is no question that the Massachusetts Teachers Association has provided lackluster assistance to these teachers and THAT makes me angry. The fact that there has been NO press regarding this makes me angry! This has been going on since last Spring and the Union representative for the school in which KD teaches is basically useless. Truly. All of this should have been going on all summer. Decisions should have been made. The Westborough School District had a similar issue going on and they had great press and were united. They have reached a common ground with their school committee.

The thing that really pisses me off? Is that the longer it is quiet the better off the administration is. Has anything been communicated to the parents of the beginning of work to rule? The teacher's have been instructed not to talk to the kids about it. Which so pisses me off. What if a student asks? What are they supposed to say. I mean come on.

KD cares deeply for the kids in his classroom, but he cares more about the kids in his living room. It is about money, but not a lot of money. It is about respect for the job that he does better than most other teacher's in his position. It is about his pure dedication to the school and the students. It is about the money to take care of the kids in his living room.

Here are some things that other people are saying about this situation. It sure does piss me off!

Especially this one:

Greedy, greedy, greedy. In a recession when people are losing their jobs, this group is worried that their raise is not large enough. Shame on you.
-Get over yourselves

Taking back control

My life has been out of control as of late. Work has taken over. I have spent more time at work than at home. If my salary paid me accordingly I would not complain, but alas it does not. Today is the day I take my life back. They colored with markers this morning, then we had pancakes for breakfast. After breakfast I broke out the play dough, they are STILL playing with it. I have a brisket in the oven, the laundry is almost under control and I am about to start lunch. KD is working today but when he gets home, it will be a much cozier place than when he left.

I expect work to be much better this week.