Saturday, November 21, 2009

High Anxiety

So much of what I feel is straight up anxiety.  I am overwhelmed and under staffed.  I am paralyzed with my anxiety.  I don't have the luxury of just checking out.  I have told KD that I need support right now and he is doing his best. 

The mountain of clean clothes is suffocating me.  The mountains of papers is crushing.  The constant stream of activity has me frazzled.  The illness, the surgery, the daily mainentance of running a household and working fulltime has got the better of me.  I am overwhelmed.

I know this will pass but for now, in this moment, I want to run screaming away from my life.

I also know that I am loved.  I am loved by God.  I am loved by my husband.  I am loved by my family and so many people in the world.    Today I will be gentle with myself.  I will be kind.  I will take one thing at a time.  Today I ask for Grace, for that is what will get me through.

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