I became aware the other day that my life is going past me at break neck speed. Which is so easy to see when you have a baby. Eliot is 8 months old! It just seems that I forget more and am barely keeping it together most days. Having 4 kids and working full time is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Ever. Some days it is easier than others. But I try hard not to judge myself too harshly, my barometer is the children's health and happiness. And, I can say without hesitation, they are happy and healthy. Funny even.
I often vascilate between wanting to stay home and wanting to work. How could I not, with so many responsibilities at home. I also know that I need to work. My mental health, such that it is, needs the adult interaction and higher level problem solving and the satisfaction of knowing I helped a client with whatever issue/problem they were experiencing.
The summer is my most favorite time of year. The yard looks more beautiful, the gardens, my gardens are in full bloom. The pool looks blue, cool and inviting. We all eat lighter with the warmer weather and our tiny house becomes that much bigger as we can be outside.
The kids do not get out of school until later in the month and their one request was for an "extreme family night." What is that you ask? We have pizza delivered, eat in the pool gate and have a fire in the fire pit. But after dinner and when the sun has gone down, we swim and some of us even skinny dip.
I may be disorganized and late for most of my appointments and occasionally for work, or forget that Ollie has share at school, but family matters most. And that request? Proves that despite my harried life, my mission for our family has been sewn into their little souls.