Saturday, August 22, 2015

My love

Jeremy Eschelbacher, my husband, my love, my life, my world.  Jeremy Eschelbacher, the love of our lives, the glue, the doer, the supporter, the runner, the real deal.   Jeremy Eschelbacher, the father of our four children, the teacher, the fixer, the friend, the coach.  Died.

In hindsight, this year has been full of so many blessings.  And as usual, we had many laughs.  We rarely fought and we were meant for each other.  I do not know if I will ever understand why my husband had to die, but I have no regrets.  Nothing was left unsaid.  We were the number one in his life, and there was never ever any doubt where our family stood in his priorities.

As our family begins this unimaginable journey, we are surrounded by a community of people who are walking with us, side by side, right next to us.  Every minute that ticks by I get farther and farther from him, but the love will not die.

I wake in the night and feel the tightness in my stomach, the butterflies move up my into my chest and down my arms.  And then I smile...I say his name, "Jer," and then I feel him.  I was so loved. The tears flow, but so do the smiles.  The grief is ugly and it is real and it hits hard.

I have met people whose father died when they were young.  I have met people whose spouses have died.  I cling to their stories.

One foot in front of the other and repeat.



Jeremy was a dear friend to me at UNLV. We lost touch as soon as I graduated, but I've thought about him from time to time over the years. Just the other day he crossed my mind and I looked him up on Facebook to see what he was up to all these years later. I cannot believe he is gone. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful kids. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

I don't know you and you don't know me. I have followed your blog on and off for the last several years. I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. My prayers are with your family.