Saturday, April 19, 2008

What is your routine? REWIND

I was reviewing my posts from the beginning and I found this one...cracked me up. I am, after all, my best audience. I hope you find it humorous too!

I was blogging around when I came upon an outline of a post partum routine. Now I know this feeling, you finally get your body back after being a good host for 9 months. But what I found so interesting is how different mine was. I had never thought about it before, my post baby routine, but I would have to guess that we all want the same things after we deliver. It made me laugh out loud at what my routine consisted of or didn't consist of. Read on, Dear Reader, read on.

1. Relief that baby is born. I loved being pregnant. It was the only time I was ever comfortable with or happy with my body. Maybe I could just stay pregnant...Now that is NOT healthy, see your therapist.

2. Eat and drink all the stuff not recommended while pregnant. Huh? What? Evidently, I was the ONLY member of the Low Birth Weight Club. While I didn't imbibe daily, I had a glass of wine probably once a month. And hold the judgement, I smoked a butt here and there too.

3. Get back into regular clothes. :-o I had to BUY non pregnancy clothes that would fit my Hoover, uh, I mean my large body. I inhaled food as if I had just been let out of a place where they didn't let you eat anything but dirt.

4. Wear jeans. I have never been a fan of jeans. I know this is weird, but it is true. Just the way my shape is I guess, not all that comfortable.

5. Join a gym. Yeah, I hate organized exercise. I am more the opportunistic exerciser. Build a fence, plant a garden, weed, mow the lawn, shovel snow. I did join Curves right after Oldest was born. That lasted one week.

6. Find clothes with water proof shoulders and lap. I wore my maternity clothes.

7. Find a babysitter. Still working on this one.

8. Think about something besides babies and kids. Not my issue, mine are to numerous to list here, but this isn't one of them.

9. Read books that have nothing to do with breast feeding or swaddling babies. When I went back to work after Middle there were no more parking spaces at the commuter rail. So I stopped reading daily. That was three years ago.

10. Find an activity that is just for me. My activity was to stop wetting my pants. Which I have done, both pregnant and post pregnant, on more than one occasion.

11. Get into shape. For someone who despises organized exercise I am in pretty good shape. Well that isn't true, let me say for someone who isn't in good shape I am pretty spry.

12. Discuss topics other than breast feeding, changing diapers and swaddling. The exact reason I only stayed home for 509 days. Well really only 41 days, but who's counting?

13. Read grown up books. Just started this weekend. Although I love to read, I veg out in front of the tv to unwind. My show of choice, Law and Order, either SVU or Criminal Intent.


the calm before the stork said...

This cracked me up! Today I called my husband at work to report on the massive explosive poop our newborn had made. I'm lost. Seriously. Send a post-partum search party. You'll find me sitting in my ill-fitting maternity clothes at the bottom of a pile of books on babies and nursing.

so tired said...

I like #11......

I too am rather spry for being horribly out of shape.

Karen said...

I think any mother worth her salt is spry, regardless of her physical condition. Thank goodness.

And I'm so, so glad that I'm not the only one who wets myself on occasion.

so tired said...

Karen & Queen Mommy -

Holly from Multi Slacking Mamalicious

posted a story today about a wet pants accident during a drinking excursion.

I commented that I used the wet pants as a measure of a good time.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

I've never had a baby, and I, like So Tired, measure my good times by peeing my pants, too.

KathyLikesPink said...

SPRY! That's it! That's the word I've been looking for! As in, "I'm pretty spry for being middle-aged."