1 hour and 27 minutes

7:53 p.m. - "When the clock says eight zero zero it will be time to turn off the t.v."
8:03 p.m. - "I said t.v. off at eight zero zero."
8:03 - 8:04 p.m. - argued about brushing teeth with Middle
8:05 - 8:11 p.m. - brushed teeth and picked out books
8:12 p.m. - 8:20p.m. - read three books, one for each
8:21 p.m. - discussion ensues regarding sleeping place. They want to sleep on the floor I tell them, "you can start out on the floor as long as you stay in your rooms. No coming into mommy's bed. Are we clear?"
8:22 p.m. - Middle ambulates upstairs, I carry Baby up to his crib return downstairs to carry Oldest upstairs.
8:23 p.m. - I settle the two of them on the floor. We say our prayers, hug and kisses for all. I explain that if I have to come up stairs I will; turn out the lights in the hall and in the bathroom, put everyone in their bed AND put the gate up on their room.
8:26 p.m. - Horror show begins.
8:37 p.m. - I put myself in time out. I sit outside in King Daddy's car (King Daddy is off at a client appointment) and call my best friend. She talks me down off the ledge while a litany of f-bombs flies from my lips. We talked for 1 hour and 27 minutes. She has been here and done this and totally gets it.
8:45 p.m. - I return inside to investigate.
8:47 p.m. - Oldest comes down to the bottom of the stairs and pokes her head out. I am hiding. I return to my haven, outside.
9:05 p.m. - King Daddy returns from his appointment, I pounce on him as soon as he opens the door to the car. "I'm in time out." "Are they still up?" "Uh huh."
9:35 p.m. - King Daddy says good night and dares to go up. I don't know what time they finally fell asleep as I fell asleep on the couch downstairs.
2:22 a.m. - awoken by Baby screaming and King Daddy's footsteps overhead. I ran upstairs to find out what was happening. "I have no friggin' idea," King Daddy yawns and then knocks a cup of water on the hall floor. Good times people, good times. I dash into their room and pluck Baby from the crib. I see one purple cocoon on the floor and two empty beds. Hmmm... 2:27 a.m. - play first kid show from DVR.
3:20 a.m. - first run of Iron Giant.
3:25 a.m. - "Please, PLEASE just go to bed, I am begging you, PUHLEASE."
3:32 a.m. - Baby asks for help putting the space helmet on.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???