Saturday, March 27, 2010


That post incited a lot of debate.  Of course most of the comments came from good friends, thanks guys for your support!  I am not cut out to stay home, but as I mentioned in my last post, it would be nice to do something that enabled me to contribute financially, as our family depends on the money, and be able to cut down my schedule somehow. 

I saw my midwife yesterday, for the first time.  We talked about the increase risk for downs syndrome with women over 40 and all the testing available.  We talked about the new tests that were introduced since the last time that I had a baby.  Jeremy and I will not terminate a pregnancy due to defects and/or down syndrome.  Babies are a blessing, expected or not.  We will take what we get.  This, however, does not diminish my anxiety of the potential of having a baby with special needs.  Jeremy and I had previously decided that we will do testing, that I am comfortable with, to identify if there is a problem.  So I am going to skip the early tests and do the AFP quad screen and a level 2 ultrasound.  And for the record?  My risk of having a baby with downs syndrome or any other defect is roughly 1%.   And that is due to a mutation of my eggs.  Statistically eggs of a 40 year old woman are, well, old.  Old eggs aren't the best to grow a human with. 

My midwife shared with me that she has another paitent, similar situation, unexpected pregnancy.  Only this other patient is FORTY EIGHT!  Whoa...her point was well taken, 41 isn't so bad by comparison!

I heard the heart beat.  Behind mine, but man it was there.  The excitment is beginning!

I met with a physciatrist this past week to discuss going back on my anti-depressants as it has been a while and with the anxiety of being an older mom, I knew that I need the support from chemistry.  There is nothing better than to be in good hands when it comes to mental health.  We discussed all the risks and all the benefits, we discussed waiting until after the baby was born.  Not a chance.  We discussed other drugs that might help with some other issues after the baby is born.  That we can discuss.

Telling the kids, last weekend, has completely altered my mood about this pregnancy.  The neat thing about this pregnancy is that it is OUR baby, it isn't MY baby. It is a gift.  I can't tell you how excited Merri is for this baby.  I am not proud of my reaction to finding out, I am not proud at all.  But my feelings are real and now they are rounding the bend of happy.  I am thankful to my children for that. 

Here is a report of my progress:
Although he's barely the size of a kumquat -- a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom -- and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby now has completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

Pretty neat.  It sure is a miracle...

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Wow! First of all, as you and I both know, any baby is a blessing, expected or not. And you can't help your reaction. Do you remember the day I called you in TEARS and told you that I had just taken a pregnancy test and it was positive? I was scared and in shock because it was NOT part of my plan. But I have this beautiful little girl that I would not give up for the world.

She told me one day that she doesn't want to have kids because she doesn't want to go to the hospital to "have it taken out." She asked what she could do to make sure she doesn't have a baby. Since she is 4 I couldn't be blunt, so I told her God makes those decisions. She said, "So God decided that you should have me and Ben?" "Yes, honey, he most surely did." That conversation where she went on to say that she was going to have to go up there and tell God not to give her a baby and asked if she needed a fire truck ladder. But you get the idea. God makes these decisions. Not us.

Everything will work out the way it's supposed to. But it is beyond our control. And if it doesn't go according to your plan, then you adjust your plan. You have amazing family and friends to support you in doing so.