He is gone...

It seems redundant to say it, but the heart ache and the reality of his absence are intertwined with denial.  It protects the mind from insanity.  How can he be gone?  Why is he gone?  He was here, he was real and he was ours.

The children have all been seen by a pediatric cardiologist, their hearts have been cleared for form and function.  Next step is the older three will have two blood tests.  One is a standard lipid panel test and the other checks the level of lipoprotein (a).  This test, is not a test that is performed routinely, and will show the levels of the "sticky" kind of lipoprotein/cholesterol.  They are testing the kids for this as it is a hereditary condition that leads to early death due to coronary artery disease and atherosclerosis.  This test would have provided my husband's doctors with more information than the standard lipid/cholesterol test, and would have likely saved his life.  Jeremy's lipid/cholesterol tests were text book as such he did not fall into any high risk category.  But this test will help so many other people, if they know about the test.

There is a foundation that is helping with education and awareness.  Ask your doctor for the test, tell your loved ones about the test, if one person's life can be helped by this test, then we have done our job.  It is too late for my husband, but it may not be for you or your loved ones.   And we will know how or if I need to manage my children's health.

The Cape Cod Marathon fall of 2013.  He did great and had a wonderful cheering section!!!

What I have found in my grief journey is that time and life just keep rolling along.  It is the way of life I suppose.  We keep loving and living and crying and laughing and missing him.  We were so very blessed and so very loved.  <3 p="">