Saturday, November 15, 2008

Bewildered

My children do not listen to me. I am sure, if you are a mother, your children don't listen to you either. It does not negate the frustration that I feel. I am a logical person and I understand that their mental capacity continues to mature, however, I just don't understand the not listening part. Today was no exception.

KD is working today which means I am solo. I am so ok with being solo. Saturday's we go to gymnastics. Then we usually pick up lunch and eat when we get home. It is a rainy day today so I had planned on getting started on the office to make room for the stove. I had to put Middle in time out twice this morning for 1) hitting his brother and 2) for wrecking the Polly Pocket-ville that Oldest had created. I threatened that he would miss gymnastics. Secretly not wanting to as gymnastics is a time when they are occupied and I can interact with some other adults. He pulled himself together and we hit the road.

First we stopped at Star Bucks so I could indulge in some peppermint mocha twist, then we were off to Dunkin Donuts to get them bagel shaped donuts. I called my brother and we chatted away. We arrived at gymnastics and the were covered with chocolate. As we walked from our parking space to the building a police car turned onto the street. None of the kids were holding my hands, as I mentioned they don't listen. I waved/motioned to the police man to give me a hand in impressing upon them how important it is that they listen to their mother.

Instead I was verbally assaulted like this:

"I am talking to YOU. You should have their hands. I am not talking to THEM, I am talking to YOU!"

I was a friggn' dear in the headlights, however, I gathered myself enough to say, "Thank you so much sir for your advice. I greatly appreciate it!" Whilst giving him the international "BITE ME" sign of my middle finger, as he drove off.

We made our way into the building, however, Middle refused to go into his class. I was barely keeping it together. I washed off the chocolate covering Baby and Middle, told Middle to get his shoes on and we left. We made it back to the car where all three of the kids were clinging to me while walking in the street. Who could blame them after the lambasting their mother had just received. After everyone was safely buckled into their seats, I pulled out of the parking space and called KD. The assualt pushed me over the edge. Truly pushed me over the edge.

I was hysterical. I truly was at a loss for words and could not believe what had just transpired. I reported to KD the event and then went on to express my sheer frustration about the kids. How we give them everything and still they don't listen. And how now I will not have 2 hours out of the house without them up my ass, but I will be stuck in the house all day with the fighting, the complaining, the ungrateful behavior, the screaming, the fighting, the complaining, the ungrateful behavior, the screaming...you get the picture. I surely can't take them anywhere as that would be fun and fun is something that should not be had as that would be a reward. They need to understand that their behavior is totally unacceptable and their lack of respect and obedience must stop. KD talked me down of my hysterical ledge. He told me that I am tougher than them and just to hold on. We, me and KD would have a long talk tonight on how to deal with them. Then tomorrow we will have a family meeting to discuss their behavior and lay down the rules.

In the mean time Oldest has already told me how she didn't like to hear those terrible words I said about them whilst I was on the phone. I apologized as some of the words were inappropriate. As I write the kids are fighting and when I tell them to stop and come here they say NO. It is the most difficult thing in the world and I tell you if I was a parent in the 1950s corporal punishment would be part of my parenting repertoire.

I am fragile and will dig deep to find the strength to deal until KD gets home.

5 comments:

Alaina said...

Hugs to you!!!!!

scargosun said...

You poor thing. My Mom was a WONDERFUL Mom but she lost it a coule of times and I am not in therapy for it. You are human, sweetie. It's ok. You are allowed to get angry and frustrated. If you didn't THEN i would worry about you.
BTW, cop was a a total asshat. Probabaly doesn't have kids or doesn't contribute at home other than yelling non-stop.

Happy Valley Mom said...

We have many days like that.

1 trick I learned--the no talking rule.

Tell the kids they CAN NOT talk to each other for 10 minutes. It kills them and them when they do talk they are nice.

also, ask MOMO abut the freeze out game for the car--you will like that one!

Sending hugs

It has been an emotional week!

Gena would tell you to be kind to yourself. And find some alone time today--even if it just a bath.

Hugs

Mandy said...

It sounds like we had the same week. *sigh* It's so hard keeping it all together and then it makes you feel like crap when you just have to get it all out. Motherhood is tough.

Kristi said...

I had a major "lose it" moment in the mall this weekend. I appease myself by telling myself that as long as I at least talk to them about the incidents afterward, then I have rectified it a little. My mom was just mean growing up and never apologized or talked about the fights and mean spiritedness. I have got to believe that when your daughter felt comfortable enough to tell you she was upset with what you said, then that meant she is feeling secure and that the incident is over and done.

I would have been furious at the cop too.