It is dreary with a chance of tears

I am a sufferer of depression, clinical depression.  And today was a very bad no good very terrible horrible sucktastic kind of a day. 

I got up and took the children to church.  I am so thankful for this, because all that was spoken at church was LOVE.  I wept.  I felt, I feel unworthy.  Truly down and dirty un-worth-y.  It is not a pretty place to be at all.  I would rather be elsewhere.

After a long talk with my sister which, by the way, was interrupted twice by the children disconnecting the phone, I feel better.  I told Jer all about my mini-break down when he returned home.  He is being gentle, kind and loving. 

It is not easy being green.    And I will soldier on, one step at a time.  One minute at a time.  One second at a time. 

Yesterday, not feeling good, but not as bad as today, I pulled out a silver tray that we had received as a wedding (engagement?) gift and put all of my stubby pillar candles on it.  It makes me happy.  I like the random ornament that was placed on the tray out of laziness.

 

Looks like lava.

And tomorrow is another day.

Let there be sun, oh please, let there be sun.