Backwards, frontwards

I was at work all day today. It wasn't until the last trip to the ladies room that I discovered my underwear is on backwards.

Hmphf.

Thank God I don't wear a thong.

Deep thoughts

People see what they want to see. They hear what they want to hear. Perception is everything and if you never take the time to look under the hood, so to speak, you will never really know.

Huh

"Is your cat Mexican?"

"What? Why would you ask me that?"

"Because he is eating tortilla chips."

Things yet to come

Two things or maybe more

Polly Pockets

Webkinz

Both of these things must have been created/invented by someone other than a parent. I mean really, who can get all those clothes on the stupid doll??? We have inherited a substantial amount of Polly Pockets paraphernalia and it is crazy. But she likes it and if we lose a piece here and there, how would she every know the difference?!

And the care of the Webkinz, yeah that a kid can do!! King Daddy end up feeding Pinky daily and making sure we enter the thing everyday as well as play a game to win kinzcash. It is so stupid and if we don't do it and Oldest forgets, Pinky will get sick and die. Nice.

When I try to squeeze something in that isn't entirely necessary (ahem, like blogging) and while doing it a fight breaks out or they climb all over me, I lose patience with them. When I stay in the moment and focus on them all goes smooth. Case in point. My friend and I took the kids out to dinner tonight to Moe's Southwest Grill . She watches the kids one day a month and today was the day. It just so happened that her husband was out of town and King Daddy was working. We had a lovely dinner and returned home. I gave Baby a bath and got him in his jams. Oldest took a shower, converted to a tub and Middle joined her. We had a great tub, hair was washed with minimal screaming. We got out of the tub, into jams, brushed teeth, read books, upstairs to bed, prayers and a good night kiss. No time outs, no whining, well that isn't entirely true. A minute bout of whining. Middle is even sleeping in his bed tonight! Usually he sleeps on the floor. He is one funny kid. Not only does he like to sleep on the floor, he prefers to sleep on the floor. He likes to sleep on the floor, it is so not worth the fight.

This may seem like something so ridiculously simple that you wouldn't think it worth mentioning. I have been a mom for 5 + years. Sometimes I forget that I can't do everything I want when I want to do it. Sometimes I need to just be with my kids and forget the rest. That is all the require of me, my true presence, to be with them.

Potty Training, um yeah, NOT

It went something like this:

Middle: "Can I come down now?" He asks from upstairs.

Me: "Yes, you may come down now."

Middle: "Ok. Mom, I pooped on the stairs."

Me: "You what?"

Middle: "I pooped on the stairs."

This is what I saw when I looked up the stairs:

Little wads of toilet paper. Hmmm...I question the pooper further.

Me: "Middle, where did you poop?"

Middle: "In my pants."

Me: "Yes, but WHERE did you poop?"

Middle: "In my bum."

Me: "How did the poop get on the stairs? Did you poop in your pants and it fell out of your pant leg?" [side bar, he had been sent to time out and in order to get him to go I must threaten removal of Cars decorated clothing items. I removed his pants, then he complied but not before he took off his diaper.]

Middle: "No, I kicked it."

Me: "You kicked it? Where did you kick it from?"

Middle: "From my room."

Me: "So you pooped in your room?"

Middle: "Yes."

While cleaning up, I found this:

Toilet paper on the floor of his room. Hmmmm...I had placed two rolls of toilet paper on the steps, to bring up the next time I went up, at least he knew where to find it!

Edited to add - while I was writing this post - they put this together: I was VERY impressed with this feat!

It is happening

Right before my eyes, I witnessed what I always knew would happen. The tortured has become the torturer. I didn't think it would happened so soon, but tonight it did. Baby pounced on Middle with a laugh that had the ever so slight maniacal twist. Middle better look out. Everything Baby has learned he learned from him.

Can you see him just rounding the corner hunting Middle? Middle won't run, he will stand his ground and scream at the top of his lungs. Baby will retreat and then, when Middle is relaxed, he will attack.

Different isn't so bad after all

I have lived much of my adult life by the mantra "Different is bad."
It started off beign, nothing complusive mind you. Just a level of comfort, or rather, discomfort. For example, if King Daddy is driving and goes two different ways to a familiar destination, I start to sweat. I know it is ridiculous, I just can’t help it. The reason I started going to my church was because it looked very much like the church I attended as a child. It was only fairly recently that I realized that it may look a lot like the church of my youth, but the feeling was not the same. Not. At. All.

On Easter Sunday I suffered much inner turmoil trying to decide if I should go to the “look a like” church or not. Finally, I realized that my faith is far more important to me and that loyalty to a building that evokes fond memories of experiences past should not bear weight on my decision. So we went to a different church. A church that bears no resemblance to the church of my youth on the exterior, but sitting in the pew I knew I had made the right decision.

It may not look like it, but it feels just like the church of my youth. A jr. choir, a busy children’s program, lots of teenagers, young families and adults. The celebration was spirit filled and just what my soul needed on a very holy day.

It is not easy being green

Especially when everyone in your family is wearing green it is,in fact ridiculous! Totally unplanned, except for Oldet's out fit, the rest of us wore green. Luckily for me, there are no pictures of us as a group.

Um, yeah I could barely move today. As the day progressed the lactic acid got the better of me. As King Daddy said, "You are pathetic." That is love people, real love!


Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!

Hair on fire

Saturday. King Daddy worked. I went grocery shopping this morning. On the way home I decided that today we would burn all of our sticks. I called the fire department, threw the kids in the car and went down to get my burning permit.

Long of the short of it. I singed my eye lashes. I have l o n g eye lashes. At least I had long eye lashes. I also signed my hair. I didn't notice any of it until later in the day when I looked in the mirror. YOWZA!

We dyed Easter eggs with Auntie. Such fun! Boys napped very well, after being outside all morning. I transplanted my butterfly bush, let's hope it makes it, and cleaned out the other gardens. My hands are now swollen and cut up. I am going to be on sore momma tomorrow!

Question...
Real Housewives of New York City. Any of you watch it? It is horrifying. I was completely hooked on Real Housewives of Orange County.

Happy Easter!

Simple luxuries part two

I was able to get my hair cut at 11 after all. My meeting was rescheduled. I went to a new place and my hair came out wonderfully, however, I won't be going back. Each "station" had its own sink, which I thought was cool. Most of the places I have been previously have a row of sinks to which the client is brought to have their hair cleansed. As I was having my hair cut I was staring right at the sink. I quickly noticed there was hair piled up on the joint of the pipes under the sink, front and back. Yes, other people's hair, many other people's hair. Oh and did I mention the paper towel that was used around my neck? Um, yeah. Never again. Cleanliness when operating a business, sort of priority. Although I am not the neatest person, I am clean. There is a gigantic difference between messy and dirty. This place? Just plain dirty and down right skanky.

I would like to share an observation I made months ago. Take a look around next time you are out and about. Look specifically at mothers and their toddler aged daughters. Look specifically at their hair cuts. I think you will find it quite interesting. Oldest and I are no exception to this rule. I have had a bob for years and years, it is a classic. I recently had Oldest’s hair cut, and realized today after my hair cut, that we look like twins, I mean ridiculous.

This is me and my new hair cut! And that is Oldest. We look nothing alike! (Yes, I took my own picture in the bathroom mirror. I hope the neighbors were watching because if I had been seeing this? I would have peed my pants!!)

Simple luxuries

Today, at 11 a.m. I am getting a long overdue hair cut. Oops, scratch that. I forgot I have a security meeting from 10 to 11.

BUT, Middle woke up today AND yesterday with a dry diaper!!!

It is the little things people, the little things.

I would have NEVER

This title reflects my feelings regarding the actions of one of my children. After I discussed said actions with my sister, QA2, we both determined that we would have never done that. Never. Ever.

When I tell my children to go into time out they do not comply. In fact, Middle for the most part, screams "NO!". It is only when I threaten to remove his Cars shirt does he head for his room. It is always a battle.

I don't know if it was respect or fear, probably both, but I would never have dreamed of speaking that way to my parents. Ever. The thought didn't enter my mind. We knew the rules, respect was number one. They spanked us, certainly not to excess, but we were spanked. And nothing brought the hand onto my bum faster than a flippant remark. I am a quick study.

I know being a parent in this day and age is not easy, mom's work, everyone is stressed out about money, etc. But, I am the parent and what I say goes. It may be archaic and for sure if King Daddy were standing behind me he would say I was completely ridiculous. But you know what? I am trying to raise respectful children in a completely disrespectful world. And I mean that in the truest sense of the word. Girls are wearing makeup and thongs at a most inappropriate age, sex is nothing more than a hand shake and all of it means that there is a lack of respect for ones own body. So I am super big on respect, all aspects of respect. And the fact that my children do not comply with me when I send them to time out, is something that I will continue to work on.

I watch Super Nanny and Nanny 911, read Parents magazine and listen to people who I consider to be wise. I get a lot of good tips from all of these mediums. When watching the nanny shows, I sit proud as a peacock that our family is not as dysfunctional as that family. The one I need to work on the most? Yelling. Yelling does not help at all. It exacerbates every situation, particularly with Middle. The second one? Patience, I have no patience.

Am I a bad mother? Quite the opposite. I am a GREAT mother. But I am human, I am flawed, but in my flaws I love my children fiercely and only want what is best for them. Teaching them respect for me will undoubtedly serve them well throughout their entire lives. I should know, I speak from experience. I will continue to work on this with them and one day it will be better.

What is that saying about being a boss and a friend? It never works, I view parenthood very much the same way.

Author's note: My children are completely compliant, respectful and polite while in the care of other adults and I know that most children are.

Ah HA!!!

Um, yeah. See it up there? The title? Evidently I MADE IT DISAPPEAR! Whatev. I now have it back.

Oldest received a Webkin for her birthday. A pink pony, that Oldest cleverly named "Pinky." Well Pinky must be taken care of. Yup, fed, watered, provided for in much the same way that you would for a human or a real pet. In order to take care of her you have to earn Kinz Cash. So on Tuesday when we were all home for the second day in a row, I spent 45 minutes "earning" Kinz Cash to purchase a bed and healthy food for Pinky. No joke. 45. minutes. We neglected to buy her a bed when we first adopted her and certainly hadn't been feeding her every day. How did we know? Well she had a hot water bottle on her head. So we took her to the doctor, Dr. Quack. He told us we need to put her to bed when we leave Webkinz World and that she needed to eat good food. Oh and a bed? Costs 900 Kinz Cash. Hence the 45 minutes. We got the bed and I loaded up on good fruits and vegetables, water, milk, honey, and the like. I just kept throwing food at her. As I wasn't home yesterday, I am not sure what she ate. However, King Daddy told me that they gave her waffles. What have I done? I have added another thing to our lives that needs our attention. It is ridiculous. But sort of fun.

Easter Baskets

I was out and about the other day, picking up cat litter, etc. When it dawned on me that Easter was just a week away and I have nothing for the kids. Now, you must know, Dear Reader, that despite my poor eating habits, my children eat very well. Sure they eat crap like everyone else. But they do eat a plethora of fruits and vegetable, whole grains, etc. As a result we try to limit the amount of "crap" they eat. And I don't like to load the Easter baskets with candy. What could I get???? Hmmm...

As I was wandering around the store looking for stuff for the Easter baskets, I was struck by a couple of things. 1. How cute the baskets are for girls. 2. That I have two boys. And finally, that despite the Easter baskets cute quotient they are single use items.

And then I rounded the corner and found beach buckets. SCORE! They each need a new beach bucket and it will hold everything that the Easter Bunny would bring anyway! I purchased three, two blue and one purple.

Then I began searching for things to put in the baskets, again keeping in mind that I don't want to load them up on crap nor do I want to buy stuff that they won't like or use.

I kept strolling through the store feeling quite proud of my beach bucket/Easter basket purchase. Then I found mini bubbles for each, you can NEVER have enough bubbles.
Then I found seeds. Ah ha! The kids are in charge of the vegetable garden so I got each of them a packet of seeds, carrots, peas and cucumbers. Second SCORE!
I remembered that their tooth brushes are quite scraggly, so I found some new toothbrushes! Third SCORE!
I got them each a little toy that would fit into the Easter bucket. I bought Oldest a little doll, Middle got some Mini Cars and Baby got a little mini Tonka bull dozer. Score, score and SCORE!
Then I got them each a little packs of gummy bears. Throw in some Easter grass and the baskets will be over flowing!!
For the egg hunt we will put jelly beans or Hershey kisses in each egg. I bought 2 packs of twelve, eight for each.

I am feeling quite pleased with myself over their Easter buckets!

It went something like this

Oldest: "Mom, may I let Kitty in?"
Me: "Yes, thank you for asking."

I was lost in thought trying to get my remote access to work when I heard this:

Oldest: Through the tears of horror, "MOM there is a DEAD ANIMAL on the PORCH."
Me: "WHAT? On the porch or in the house?!"
Oldest: "On the porch, I SAW it!"
Me: "Kitty PLEASE do not bring us presents! Everyone stay inside."

I retrieved the dust pan, King Daddy's shoes and opened the door to the porch. Threw up in my mouth and got on with the task at hand. I delivered the DEAD ANIMAL to the graveyard in the corner of the yard where all the good little creatures who have passed away go. I left the dust pan out there as there were entrails still on it. I threw up in my mouth a little more and marched into the house to get a rag with bleach. I cleaned up the blood, the bile and the entrails of said DEAD ANIMAL.

I returned inside and assured Oldest that the world is right and thought, "I must blog about this!"

Here is a picture of the murderer. He is a mouser! He is a mouser!

A long sleepless night in Cozy Town

Yesterday was a long day. Not too long, but three sick kids make anything long. Baby refused to nap. Middle slept on the floor for what seemed like the entire day and Oldest slept on the couch early on. We watched Cars 3 times, Iron Giant 3 times, Bigfoot Presents 3 times, Peter Pan one time, My Little Pony movie one time. I tried to get some work done, however, Baby likes to climb and climb he does. It is pretty funny actually. He climbs up the chair puts his weight on his hands, on the desk, and jams his feet into my face so I will let him sit in my lap. So I was up late getting some work done to make up for the lost time.


They all fell asleep last night before 7. Baby and Middle on the floor, Oldest on the couch. King Daddy carried everyone upstairs, while I dozed on the couch. He then when out to get a replacement pipe for the sink downstairs, it sprang a leak on Sunday night. I was awakened by screaming, so I rushed upstairs to find Baby and Middle screaming and in need of some TLC. I plucked Baby from his crib and rocked him for a time. He relaxed and I placed ever so gently into his crib. Middle has taken to sleeping on the floor, I have no idea why, but he likes it, so we snuggle him in on the floor. I picked him up and held him. I rocked him. He asked to be put back on the floor with many blankets, so I complied.


I went upstairs around 11:30. Screams began at 12. I ran into to find Middle needing me. We snuggled. Then Oldest spoke, in a regular 9 a.m. voice, "I want to sleep with you!" After I got Middle settled I went to Oldest, she was burning up. I ran downstairs to get the Motrin. I gave her a dose, snuggled her in and asked her to be quiet. Gave her a kiss and said goodnight.


Middle came into our room about 1:05. He was tossing and turning and moaning. Poor guy. Oldest came in close to 2. She wanted to sleep where Middle was. So I pulled her on top of me, she was still burning up. "Mommy, my feet are too hot," she said. With that we went straight to the tub. She had a seizure when she was 18 mos old. They were unable to determine if the origin of the seizure. She did not have a fever before or after, although she did have a cold. I am very cautious when she gets sick, she is the fevery one of the bunch. So into the tub, her temp was only 102.7, but it felt a lot worse. She played and chattered. Her cheeks returned to their normal color so we put on her jams and got her back into her bed.



Now it is close to 3. I. am. tired. Middle is still having trouble. Flopping back and forth. Then he wants to be in the middle of the bed. Fine by me!!! We got some sleep until about 6 or so.


They are all ensconced on the couch with their cocoa watching the first run of Iron Giant.


This was Middle on Sunday. A moment when King Daddy and I felt very old, that our Mhister Man is riding a bike. With. training. wheels.













































And this was him yesterday...

Where are you today?

I am at home with THREE sick kids today. Good times, good times.

Oldest's party, in reverse order

The cousins.
Let them eat cake.

BLOW!

Inferno.

Let it rip!

Gather the loot.

Dress up!

The start of the tea party.

Milestones and updates

Milestones
Baby will be two in a few short weeks. He is our last babe. Being that he is our last babe, he was on his bottle far longer than either of the other two. I calculated when I should get the other two off the bottle, by the time Oldest was 9 months old, I was pregnant, by the time Middle was 9 months old, I was pregnant. I am a huge comfort/cozy type mother. I foster the love and dependency on comfort items. I do not agree that I should take a bottle from a 1 year old, as our pediatrician recommended. 1 year olds are babies. They need whatever comfort they can get. However, I didn't want either of my two older ones to get jealous of the new baby, Middle and then Baby. So by 18 mos they were both off the bottle. So knowing that Baby's 2nd birthday looms large I decided on a different strategy. We were down to two nipples. We lost one a month or so ago, it was torn and leaked everywhere. One left. On Tuesday last I discovered a tear. I gave it to him anyway. While I was changing his diaper milk leaked all over his face. He was very displeased with that, so I seized my opportunity. I shared with King Daddy the state of the nipple and our plan. He spoke to Baby and told him that the bottle was broken and there would be no more bottle. He hasn't had one since. He saw the bottle in the dish washer last night and began chanting, "boddle, boddle, boddle." I told him it was broken as a little piece of my heart broke over the grown upness of Baby.

Oldest turned 5 last week. She has been in a car seat since she entered the world. She was in her infant seat until after her first birthday. She was a peanut. She has been in her current seat for 4 years and a couple of days. King Daddy and I had done some recon work on which kind, how much, the safety, etc., on this new purchase. Well after two days of having to strip her down to get her in her seat, I bought the "mini-booster" as I told her. The one that she wants isn't on the shelf. So tonight I bought her a booster seat.

W o w.

This is a banner week for milestones in our home. If only I can get Middle on the potty, although not like this, it would be a trifecta. I always say, "he won't graduate high school wearing diapers", he'll get there when he gets there. And by golly it will be before swim lessons next month! Um, yeah shut Middle's finger in the door tonight. Feeling real good about that. Mother of the year.

Update
King Daddy cancelled his debit card. Ordered a new one. Filled out the fraudulent charge paperwork at the bank so we would get a refund. Got a copy of his credit report. All of the things on his report look accurate. Phew. Spoke to Social Security. Um, yeah, they have no record of anyone anywhere, let alone Texas, using his number. So now the question is, WHAT was that Trooper talking about? And what do we do? Ring him up to let him know that his information was erroneous?
Sheesh. Good thing I have been so tired, I haven't had time to fret over this.

Where were you one year ago today?

I was in Burlington, MA celebrating the success of my father's surgery to remove 2/3 of his esophagus and 1/3 of his stomach. He was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer on November 8, 2006.

We had lunch sometime in September of 2006, dad, me and Baby, who was truly a baby at the time. I wasn't working and was able to just drive out to Deerfield to meet him for lunch. Looking back it was such a gift not to be working during that time. I inherited my love of food from my dad, so it was unnerving when he stopped me from chattering on during lunch to share with me that he has had trouble swallowing, that I shouldn't worry, he has an appointment next week, "...it isn't cancer."

Funny thing is, when you are child of a physician you completely without question believe what they tell you, regarding matters of health. I didn't give it a second thought. I mean if anyone would have an inkling it would be him, right? When I look back over those first few days after learning of my dad's diagnosis, I examined every moment we had spent during that lunch. I thought of his appointments, I thought of the unusual course of action asked of me after his biopsy, I was instructed to call all siblings and his sisters and mom. (My parents are divorced and have been for sometime. Luckily for us, they are friends and if it weren't for that fact the events that I am describing would have been horrible for their children) I could have chosen to think that he had cancer. Instead for those five weeks or so between our lunch and his diagnosis, I went about my regular routine without thought of cancer. Cancer is a disease that, I am lucky to say, is not something I check off on familial health history.

One year ago today, March 12th, my dad had surgery to "cure" him of cancer. Prior to his surgery he underwent 6 weeks of radiation and 4 weeks of chemotherapy, concurrently. All the while he continued to work. Since he and his wife live quite a distance from us, as well as work, we couldn't offer any day to day support. Instead we rented him a cozy little apartment for him to use, or not, on the days he was in his office. He took nice hot baths and naps when needed.

My dad is a love. Father of the year, he is not. He has major intimacy issues and even now they are just as they were when he left our family all those years ago. Illness makes people even crazier, it sure did in our case. It was an emotional roller coaster for all of us. Through it all - we spoke the truth and we spoke of love. The night before my dad's surgery I called him and told him all of the things that he had taught me. The list was long. The surgery for this type of cancer is very, very invasive. The surgeon, a cardiothoracic surgeon, must make incisions in the front as well as the back. You just never know how the surgery will go. I wanted to make sure I said all the things I wanted to say.

We were asked by my dad's wife not to be at the hospital during the surgery. So my siblings and I gathered at a nearby hotel and waited for the word, we counted the hours. We were told 4.5 to 6 hours. We heard at hour 6.5. My dad's two sisters and brother in law came and waited with us. We had the most wonderful, joyful celebration when we heard he was out of surgery! I smoked more cigarettes in that 8 hour period than I have ever in my life. After the celebratory breaking of bread, dad had asked that each of the kids come to see him. THAT was hard. He had so many tubes going this way and that, he was in ICU, the staff took extra special care of him because of his physician status. They affectionately called him "Doc."

The siblings and I stayed the night at the hotel so we could see him in the morning. They had moved him from ICU to the floor. He was tired so we each gave him a quick hug and love. We then went to the Cheesecake Factory for another celebratory lunch. We all breathed collective sigh of relief and continued to say our prayers.

I returned to my life as wife and mother and went to the hospital as often as I could for the next week. Everyday there was progression, his surgeon was pleased. We walked around the floor holding hands and he proudly introduced me as his daughter. Then he went home. The 20 nodes they took from him were all negative. He has CT scans every 6 months.

He still loves to eat, but now he has to eat much slower and more often. He is much thinner than he has been in a long time. Mom says he looks like he did when they lived in the projects. We know we are blessed and that he is lucky. Especially when my brother's coworker's mom died yesterday from the same disease. She was diagnosed 90 days after our dad, had the same surgery in June of 2007. Lucky, indeed.

This is the first weekend in December 2006. A very special weekend. Before surgery and treatment. No spouses or kids, just mom and dad and their kids. Lucky, indeed.

King Daddy is a wanted man

No joking here. I am sure you will all be shocked to learn that one of our cars needs an inspection sticker. It expired many moons ago. We like to live on the edge. Tonight while I was on the edge holding down the fort, King Daddy was almost pushed off the edge, by the long arm of the law.

He was pulled over because the tail light is out on the Volvo. (He just called to relay this story to me and I, until the end of the story, had the unmistakable feeling that I may hurl all over myself, Kitty and the kitchen.) He sat on the side of the road for 5 minutes, then 10, 15, 20. At 20 minutes he begins to think that the State Trooper has called a tow truck to take the car away. Then 25 minutes goes by. No tow truck. The Trooper comes back to let him know that there is a guy in Texas who is using King Daddy's social security number, and that man has many outstanding OUIs.
I. Am. Not. Kidding.
Then the Trooper begins to question King Daddy, you know, trying to trip him up. As if the guy in Texas is my King. Come on! And as if King Daddy were this other man, he would fess up.
SCARY STUFF!
He got a fine for not having an inspection sticker.
He asked the Trooper what he should do about the SS number thing. The man in blue says, "Change your license number." Ya think?

p.s. could this explain the mysterious charges to our cc? Hmmm...

Still no title?

Be forewarned, I am in foul mood.

Dear people in charge of moving up the time change;
You are brilliant. No really, I mean that. Seriously. My kids stay up MUCH later than usual and we all get up later. It would be great, you know, back in the day when we all worked on farms, didn't have electricity and say kids didn't go to school or moms didn't have to BE SOMEWHERE!
Sincerely,
Queen Mommy


Dear Mr. Spitzer,
Go see you your shrink. If you don't have one, GO FIND ONE. Tell everyone you are sick and have a compulsion.
Sincerely,
Queen Mommy


Dear Media outlets,
Mr. Spitzer is sick. Are you stupid? Stop asking why such a brilliant man could be so stupid. He has a compulsion. Compulsion is defined by Webster as an irresistible impulse to act irrationally. Smart and what Mr. Spitzer did should not be compared or correlated. Apples and oranges. Do you get it now?
Sincerely,
Queen Mommy

Dear Children,
LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SPEAK! I love you very much, more than you can probably guess at this very moment as I am screaming my brains out.
Love,
Mommy

And finally,
To the people at iTunes/Apple/iPod-
I do not own an iPod or anything related to this musical fad. Yet I was charged a total of $500 for purchasing said downloadable music. You also SUCK. Hurry up and credit my account the last $100 or I am going to hunt you down and shake every last dollar from your sorry ass. Don't mess with me or my family's finances, you jack ass.
Watch your back.

THE Queen Mommy

CUTE

A future purchase? Not that I am fueling the obsession. [We have taken to threatening him with removing his Cars jammies. After all, Dear Reader, lest you forget that he wears them everyday. Either under or over his clothes.] Although I am skeptical as I love Crocs for lack of odor. Problem is once these come into the house they will never be without a foot, regardless of the temperature outside. We are far from the days where these can be worn everyday. But that wouldn't stop him. I think it might be mean of me to get these for him, now. But what if they sell out? What kind of mother will I be then? Oldest's Easter dress...do you LOVE??? I am now searching for an ever slightly lemon yellow cardigan. Not sure on the shoes as of yet. Boys are easy, we have ties and khaki pants. Button down shirts abound.

Time Change s for Wimps

I don't know if the time change had anything to do with their rambunctious behavior, but it makes a good story either way.

No, this is not where they normally sleep. They each have their own beds, however last night they got their sleeping bags out and bed down at the top of the stairs. The fact that they all share a room works against me. But thankfully Baby is still in a crib and was sleeping soundly when these two partners in crime made this nest. At 9:40 pm when King Daddy called it a night he came upon this scene. Oldest was out like a light! Middle, not so much. Evidently he doesn't require a lot of sleep. Unfortunately I require a lot of sleep.

If you look closely, you can see the smile on that bright little face that I want to just EAT.

She is OUT!

You get a GREAT view of the partially stripped landing and stairs. When we moved in these stairs were covered in the most hideous mustard colored bogus "carpet." We tore it all out (only 4 years ago!) and I periodically try to strip off 140 years of paint.

6 inches of H20 in bbbbasement and a green thumb

That's right! Good times, good times. Called King Daddy whilst he was on his way to work...had to invite him back for the pahty. 50/50 chance that we will need to replace the motor on the boiler, great times, great times.

As you know the title of this blog refers to my previous shopping habits. I was blogging around just now reading about how someone purchased sun kissed khaki's from the Gap. I don't remember the last time I spent $49.50 on one single item in my wardrobe. I mean that is a weeks worth of groceries. Well not really, but it is diapers and a whole host of other things. Plus I am H U G E. One of my new year resolutions was to eat more vegetables. I don't remember the last time I did that. However, it is now March and I need to DO SOMETHING. My stomach sits on my thighs and it is freakin' horrifying. So purchasing something that costs $49.50 to put on this body is OUT OF THE QUESTION.

We went out this morning while waiting for the heating company to come and evaluate the damage to the boiler, our goal was to pick up the sticks in the yard. We have a lot of sticks in the yard. Kitty came out with us. Recently I inquired if any of you have seen a cat gallop. If you haven't it is freaking hilarious! Kitty literally acts like a dog. He gallops to wherever we are in the yard, charging through all of us. It is the visual that makes me crack up! I was assisted in my stick collecting for more than a few minutes by the two older ones, Baby just wandered around. It was FREEZING. We made a pile for our future burning session and I envisioned the soon to be bucolic, verdant yard. I showed Oldest which plants we will be moving and told her that the side garden will now be yellow, white and orange flowers only. I have grand plans to reclaim an area of our yard that is currently over run with weeds. We will put in a fire pit and a tether ball, not for use at the same time! This aspect of home ownership gives me such great pleasure! The rest? Well that just SUCKS!

And with that declaration I shall leave you with these...

Saturday

Today King Daddy worked all day installing some cabinets, it was rainy and I was housebound as he had the van. I have to mentally prepare for all of these factors. We had a wonderful day! Polly Pocket was unveiled. My boss has a 10 year old daughter and passed along a ton of stuff. Oldest and Middle played all day with this stuff. They had a blast. Me and Baby read books together. Nap time, as predicted, was a friggin' horror show. Screams followed by more screams followed by short naps. Just in case you were wondering, they don't do that for our babysitter. Of course.

A big sigh of relief for Tiff and her family. Finally a diagnosis for Ivy. Hugs to you all Down Under.

King Daddy just went to bed, he is totally down and out. It is just me and Kitty. Who by the way was a total freak today. He "attacked" me and I put him out straightaway. Perhaps some foreign smell brought in from my numerous trips from the barn. Now he is curled up on the bean bag.

Did you know that five year olds can do everything by themselves? It is great! Look at my five year old? Isn't she the CUTEST!!! The cake, the My Little Pony cake? Was made my King Daddy's coworkers, aka The Cake Lady. Was so delicious! It was PINK on the inside and was gone in seconds flat! So yummie!

And the next picture is of Oldest hugging Middle after opening his present to her...a Webkin!

B E Y O N D sweet! Totally spontaneous!

Oh and ps - I am so over the no title thing! It is really starting to piss me off! Now I know why so many of my fellow bloggers fled the platform...

pps - turn those clocks ahead! I much prefer turning them ahead later, it is way too early for me for longer days.

Too tired

So tired. Lots to write, lots to say. Too sleepy to write.

Birth Stories

My dear friend Steph had a baby boy last night. Her labor was fast, furious and drug free. Her second and so unlike her first delivery. She was induced and labored and was tired. Not this one! A girl after my own heart.

I delivered Oldest in 20 minutes, my midwife (Tiff if only I lived there or you lived here and it was five years ago!!) had only one gloved hand. Middle in one push no one was in the room, save King Daddy. I scooted back on the table so he wouldn't go flying off. When the doctor walked in he said, "What do we have here?" I requested a refund, but they laughed. Baby, well as anyone who can tell you the third is the wild card. Doesn't matter if you have 3 or 15 kids, 3 is the wild card. He I had to have a labor supplement to get me going after 7 hours of good contractions rendered me tired and no further dilated than 3 cms. Um, what? I deliver FAST, don't you know? Give me a friggin' break! So after they gave me the pitocin he came right out. I didn't even have to push. I felt him coming out, it was awesome. I am made to deliver babes. If I had started sooner I would have had far more. I really enjoy being pregnant, it is the only time I am truly comfortable in my body. Nursing comes easily and I never had any pregnancy symptoms. Ever.

So what are your stories? Do tell ladies I love to hear them!!

HORRIFICATION FACTOR = HIGH

Just found a TICK on Kitty! Yup, you read that right.

FREAKING OUT and SKIN CRAWLING in Cozy Town predicted to continue for a long time.

I did NOT sign up for this...

Lunch or was it dinner?

Who cares, look at all those cousins!

Presents!!

Princess Lizzie!

Space Man

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Where were you five years ago today? King Daddy and I play this game for everyone of our children the eve before their birth and the day of their birth. We went to the hospital at 5:30 a.m. and she was delivered at 11:10 a.m. No epidural, there wasn't time. The memories are vivid and the love boundless.

We are so glad that she picked us as parents.

Five years ago today

I stayed home from work. It was my first pregnancy. I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew something was going on. I called my mom, she said it was happening. King Daddy shaved my legs, I couldn't see my feet.

Just two things continued

My legs hurt from running down the aisle at the grocery store. I am that out of shape. More on the two things tomorrow...

There are just two things...

1. Talking on the phone in the grocery store with absolutely NO regard for people who are trying to shop and/or maneuver their cart.

2. Doing financial acrobatics at the friggin' ATM.


It has been several hours since the incidences occurred and my rage has subsided, but my annoyance has not. However, I must go become horizontal as I am stuffed full of cake, ice cream, chicken chili and a whole host of other most delicious unhealthies, as such I will fill in details tomorrow. Suffice it to say I HATE THEM...